On Crying

Well, I'd like to dedicate this post to a certain person (and no, it's not who you think it is), but i shall refrain.

I think I was in the 5th standard when I saw Anisha trying not to cry. She had just been told off for some reason or the other, and I remember she standing over her lunch bag, looking up at the ceiling 'furiously blinking back the tears'. I guess it was then that i first got an inkling that maybe it wasn't so cool to cry. Over the years, a general annoyance towards people who cry too easily deepened that idea.

As I grew up, i tried my best not to cry in a hurry. Not in public at any rate. Well, maybe an occasional movie or two, but in general, the tears were reserved for the dead of the night and my teddy bear. Which is why, the fact that I cried a year ago made big news and invited a lot of unpleasant comments.

To be honest, i was ashamed of myself. My friends, of course, hugged me, and consoled me and did the usual 'come on da, don't take such things seriously'. Which was very sweet of them. But I guess what i really needed was the 'oh, it's okay to cry.. proves you're human after all'. You see, after having spent 18 years beleiving that it's wrong to let your feelings be known in public, i had done the unthinkable! I had actually cried. So what i needed was to be told that it's okay to cry.

Another thing which puzzles me is how guys are so eager to accuse girls of using 'tears as a weapon'. Is it because they feel guilty in some way? In that case, they shouldn't. I guess there are girls who do use tears as a weapon. But ultimately, girls(or even guys) cry because they feel helpless. They've reached a point where they don't know what to do. They feel helpless but they have to do something to let out their anger/frustration/sorrow/joy so they cry.

That does explain why one who cries is frowed upon and considered weak. For isn't it weak to feel helpless? Isn't it weak to give up and say 'there is nothing more i can do'? But isn't it also inhumane to never feel so?