Tuesday, May 20, 2008

A racey post!

Recently, Aquila accused "tams" of taking a lot of pride in their race. "Second in the line", she claims,"right after the bongs"! A statement which caught me completely off-guard! Do we really?? The fact is, this is the first such accusation I've faced in the past 21 years..

It all started off with me correcting the way she pronounced "Madras". It's Med(as in short for Medical)-raas. That's the way we pronounce it. Truth be told, I dunno if that's the right way of doing it, but that's the way the localites fondly refer to it as and that's what stays. She insists on "Ma(as in mother)-da-raas". I correct her and she says that's how they write it in Marati and then goes on to accuse me of acting like a bong! * Huh? *

Lemme clear a few things right now. It's not my race/language/culture I'm proud of. They're as good as any other (except maybe America). No better. No worse. But when it comes to my city, it's a whole new story.

Most people assume yhat the 45 degree temperature which forces everyone to flee and the obvious conservative and traditional lifestyle which the people there are so scared to come out of doesnt leave much to be proud of. And now, a cricket team which insists on losing all it's matches doesnt add much!

There is much more to the city than that, but i don't wanna get started on why I love my city again. I promise I'll dedicate a whole post to that when i come back. For now, lemme just state that I love that place and can bear no criticism of chennai or it's people. I mean, will you be quiet if you family is being criticised? :-)

Coming back to the accusation. Yes, if you accuse me of standing up for my city, I shall bow and admit that it is true. So shall every other fellow Chennaite I know. But we do not claim that tamil food is the best. Dosa's are alright, but we can survive on naan just as well. And yes, we crib and crib about not having the perfect filter kaapi, but it doesn't take us too long to realise that Bru is a good substitute - it has a slight chocolatey taste to it too!

But that wasn't her accusation. Her accusation was about how we're proud of being Tamil. Are we, really? It's easy to see why one would think so. Our absolute refusal to accept Hindi as our National language, for starters. For the record, I'm completely with my state government on this. I think it's ridiculous for the Central govt. to force a language upon me. I agree we need a unifying language et al, but why Hindi? It's bullshit to argue that the majority speaks it, cause majority of what? Majority of the people I know don't speak the language! And i live in a Metro!! Why not English? Please don't reply with "English is a foreign language", because Hindi is just as foreign to me as English is. Plus if I learn English, I'll actually be able to communicate with people all around the world. In fact, knowing Tamil, will probably help people much more in Singapore and Sri lanka - where Tamil is a national language. The only reason I see for me to learn Hindi is so that I can watch Shah Rukh Khan movies! But hey, I'd like to learn Chinese so I can watch Bruce Lee too!!

The august before last, we had gone to Nainital on a college trip. We had to buy a few curios and stuff and had to bargain with the peddlers there. We had to speak to them in broken Hindi and every single one of them made it a point to scold us for our lack of knowledge of Hindi. One of them even said "Hindi is an international language - everyone should know"(!!!). We meekly heard them out, took our shopping bags and came home. After all, their territory, their language. We were the outsiders. What can we say? Back home, on the other hand, my North Indian friends crib all the time about how the auto-karans here speak only Tamil. No meekness there. No acknowledgement of how it's okay for a person to speak their mother tongue in their part of the world!!

How can we be full of pride after all this? After not being able to speak our language in our own cities? After being imposed upon from all sides to learn a language we don't want to?

The central govt. has imposed a new rule that everyone working in a Central govt. academic institution must pass a basic test in Hindi. To read and write it. Not enought to know your physics/chemistry/math/mechanis. Nope, one's gotta know her/his hindi! No matter where the institute is. IISc and IIT-M come under this even though they're both in South Indian cities rebelling against imposition of Hindi. I, for one, will not pass such a test. I know exactly two letters in Hindi, and though once upon a time I wanted to learn the language, recent events like those stated above has put me off. It might be a fun thing to do - learn a new language, but I will not. Just because it is forced upon. "To take a stand", if I must use forceful statements. It probably sounds childish, but that's the way a whole state feels about it and the Central govt. doesn't seem to care.

I'm not saying my language is the best. I'm not claiming that Barathi was the best poet ever. I'm not saying that no one compares to Kris Srikant in cricket. I'm not saying that idlies are food of the Gods. I don't care how much you mutilate my name. I don't give a damn whether we're a pure Indian race or not. It really doesn't matter to me if Tamil is the oldest language. And I definitely don't wish to prove to you that we're the best.

All I'm saying is that, we're a nice bunch. Fun people doing their own thing. Let us be..

P.S: In retrospect, I realise I started talking about one thing and ended up somewhere else, but it all connects up in it's own way..

31 comments:

Roshan George said...

Perfect agreement. Their really is no big deal. This is our state, we're a sort-of federation for a reason, just leave us be, let us have our signboards, and our oin shaaps and our chitti painancial.

And before any smart alec remarks, I know, my Tamil is awful, but I can read and write it atleast. And I've never had trouble communicating.

solvent said...

hey listen..
you correct your comments about that filter kaapi.......
THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE TO IT....
JUST NOTHING IN WORLD....
MIND IT...

Spica said...

@ George: After that comment, I'll kick anyone who dares make fun of it! :-)

@Solvent: * wide grins * True.. And here I am mixing nestle 3-in-1 in hot water every morning! :-(
The sadness of it all!

Nowhere Man said...

I couldn't agree more with you about Madras being a wonderful city, and people dismissing it without knowing anything about it. It's most annoying.

solvent said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aquila said...

All right lady - this time you've asked for it.
One. I didn't accuse you of taking 'pride in your race'. Well, not exactly. My exact comment was: "you're second in line, after the bongs". And when I refer to a Bong in general, you know what I mean. The one thing I was referring to was flying off the handle over every little thing remotely connected with being a Bong, delivering a 24X7 polemic about Bongishness, not taking Bong cracks too well and the general Bong smuggishness.
Two. It started off with the way I pronounce Madras. Now, according to me, it simply doesn't matter how you pronounce a name - be it a person's or a city's. People pronounce the name of my home city in different ways, but I don't go around correcting them, and then spending the better part of 10 minutes arguing about the Marathi way of pronouncing it. Heck, people don't even get my name right, even after years of knowing me. But you know what? It doesn't matter! What matters more is what they associate with me, what they think of me and if they care about me.
Three. I don't know how you went on to associate my allegedly mispronouncing your city's name to an attack on your city in general. I've never even lived there dude, why would I do that? :) And do you remember where all this started from? From a tiny mark on a map which said - 'Madras Hotel'. It's a proper noun for chrissake!
Four. Hindi is not MY mother tongue either. But you know what? What does it matter if you learn one more freaking language? Most Indians I know speak a bunch anyway. :) And rudimentary Hindi is easy to pick up. Rudimentary anything is easy to pick up for that matter.
Five. Relax and take a deep breath. Just try being a bit more liberal. Being proud of your culture, of the language you speak and where you come from is great: even I feel nice about a lot of things associated with Marathi culture. BUT, try not to take a tiny little comment as a personal attack on all that you hold dear. And dude, city is not family. City is city. And family is family. And I wasn't villifying either. :)
Six. If you filter out the tone you've used throughout your post, I think you'll get why I was classifying you with the Bongs.
Love,
the villain :)

Spica said...

@nowhere man: :-)Thanks for just ping me and let me know that. :-P to everyone who did that!

@solvent: I write a whole post on it and all you can say is "change your stand"?? Sheesh!! Oh, and why exactly would the country 'tear apart' unless people are being forced to do something they don't want to?

@villian :-) : Do me a favour, kid.. Next time you wanna say something this long, put it up in your blog and paste link here. A comment as long and boring as the blog itself scares away my readers!

And to answer you:
1)Bongs take pride in their race (wat's wrong with that, btw?) and you accused us of being bongs. I got that.

2)And yes darling, different things matter to different people. But don't you wanna learn how to pronounce something correctly? I would.. Unless of course the person who is teaches me gets bugged and asks me to "please forget it".. which is usually the case.

3)I know you didn't say anything about Chennai. I was generalising there. The blog isn't all dedicated to you, btw.. I just used you as an excuse to start.

4)Rudimentary hindi is easy for a person from north India to pick up. All those languages have the same root - Sanskrit. All the deccan languages don't, remember? They have a different root altogether. Or wait, didn't they teach you that in school? I won't be suprised if they didn't. Hence the statement, "Hindi is as foreign to us as English". And trust me, it isn't easy to pick up hindi without a formal training. I don't speak without trying, I assure you!

5) I guess you missed the point there altogether. Thankfully many others didn't!(love y'all) If Chennai is home, then it's people are family, right?

6) "hey kettle, you're black?" ;-)

Roshan George said...

Ah bongs, awesome things. Much pleasure to be derived from them.

There is only one way to say Madras. Say it. Otherwise you're hurting our sentiments. Or something like that.

By the way, Malayalis? The only thing they can talk about are Malayalis. Their self-obsession is criminal.

Unknown said...

I completely agree with you.India is a forced union of disparities. And the one-language policy is an attempt at obliterating differences and thrusting an alien identity on unwilling people, which is totally unfair to such flourishing cultures. Its nicer to just be the way we are and let others be the way they are.
Vazhga Thamizh.....and Vazhga saroja samaan nikalo.....

achal said...

Bongs suck. Chennai sucks too. bombay and catfight rocks!

Aquila said...

And the valkyrie descending with flashing eyes and a glinting sword, declared: "I will save my race and my people." Yeah, right. Welcome to democracy and living together. We don't all look the same, eat the same, talk the same. But we all come from somewhere, are something. And some of us are proud of that. Nothing wrong with that. Perfectly all right. Just as long as you don't get all touchy and offensive and well, plain irritating.

About 'correct'pronounciation. There is no such thing. I mean, unless you're speaking a language. (and yea, any language would do here. Let's please not highlight Tamil) There's a way the localites pronounce it, there is a way other people do. To each his own.

Another thing: I was talking about picking up the basics of any language. Lets talk about the one they speak on Mars. So given 'formal' training (aka school) I'm sure you can pick up Marsese too. You're a bright kid. I mean unless you decide from the start to hate it because someone told you to do so. I thought we got over this kinda stuff about 10 years back?

And yeah, about where I choose to write. I'm glad you kindly offer this space for us to comment on. Even when we start attacking your race and all those horrible things. But you see, I really don't intend to waste my blog space on a stale debate in which you know that you aren't being listened to anyway.

And a kind suggestion from a friend: Think about starting a Tamilian Shiv Sena. I'm sure you'll do a great job.

Spica said...

@Roshan: Aren't you mal, yourself? :-) I love mals.. Don't you dare say anything against them! ;-)

@Bharat: Bitu poduraen. Kavalapadathae.. Thanks for the comment. It's one of the best I've got till date.

@Achal: I couldn't agree more! Go Mumbai Indians! Go Deccan also, but that's besides the point.

@Aquila: Do you even read any of the other comments? As my not-so-little-anymore brother so wisely put it, "the only way to be fair to the other languages is by making English the national language". I stick with that. End of story.

And for the nth time, I don't care about tamil people. I care about the city, Chennai - half the people supporting Chennai at the moment aren't even tam! Wouldn't be exactly fair to them if I start "tamizh valga" sangam, would it?

Except if I were to start a "Madras bhasai vazhga!" sangam. I think I will.. Who's in? :-)

"Enna vechu comedy keemedy panniliyae!" \m/

Roshan George said...

Bharat Ram, much respect.

Aquila, I was joking about the hurting sentiments. Us Madrasis don't really mind, but we like pretending that we do. In reality, we'll just laugh and then go to the beach and eat that roasted corn thing, play in the sand and drown in the sea.

But that Hindi business is unacceptable. I don't mind (trying to) speaking Hindi in Delhi, I don't see why those people can't speak Tamil in Madras. When in Rome,...

And English works just fine as a universal language. It even has that added advantage of allowing you to talk to a large number of people abroad, having the most supported script on computers, having the least number of letters, and the most accommodating vocabulary.

Achal said...

http://baboonlogic.com/2007/06/16/chennai/

go aquila go!

Anonymous said...

here is a state/city that offers tax waivers for people to title the movies in tamil, grants and incentives so that kids learn the language and we are being accused of linguistic chauvinism. Not fair at all. The average Tam on the road is a slightly deranged, unclean otherwise nice guy that would resort to bharathanatyam to help a northie find his way around ( the little yellow devils not included). Compare that to a sniggering "saala, hindi nahi jaante"

And as for Madras, we carp and cavil, but we wouldn't exchange it for the swankier ones, period. And most of us know what the cricket team is called and when a match is on. :D

Achal said...

I wonder why chennai is always the topic for debate. and i dont have to wonder a lot. chennai sucks, but chennaites dont agree with it...hence the whole debate. call bombay anything...and noonee will give a damn...bombayites are self assured...unlike chennaites! :)

Achal said...

and well... we wont talk about the alcohol/bar situation in chennai...it might arouse some sensitive chennai bone :)

Roshan George said...

achal: Ha ha, that may have worked if you said anything but Bombay. Say anything about Bombay and you'll be halfway through a trident before you can finish.

But yes, 'tis unfair that one must journey far to get some real wine. Very unfair. I have subsisted so far on the gifts of kind hearted relatives passing coming from abroad. Very kind-hearted relatives.

Spica said...

@ Roshan: Why did you remove your previous comment?? Without that my reply makes no sense! Love your new one though!

@ Achal: Trust you to have a link for everything.. Though i've read that blog and that comment before. * deja vu *

@ Sido: Well, in my defence, i do live far far away!! :-P
But thanks man, that was as idly-sambar-vadai as one can get!

Spica said...

@ Roshan : You got it? Nice. :-) How was the.. umm.. experience?

Roshan George said...

I did not remove any comment. It is against my principles to do so. Comments deserve rights too.

I will sally forth in search of that mystic liquid soon; a French town awaits and time is short.

Spica said...

@ Aquila : for the record, yesterday sharmila asked me to "please say Mumbai.. not Bombay"
:-)

Vinod Pillai said...

this is how i rate the different races( on sensitivity index)
1. Bongs
2.Bongs
3. Bongs
4. Gujjus, marus, mals, marathis and tams and just about every other race in india.
5. gulti's. they dont care if u mock them

Satyaki Roy said...

Those fuckin' bongs...

Satyaki Roy said...

Chennai is a way superior place than any other. Period.

Spica said...

@ indulgence: You shut up! you're the one who started the curse!! :-(

Satyaki Roy said...

lies... all lies...

Spica said...

It is true! The curse of the bongs! All thanks to you!!! Woe be me!

LP said...

Ah that was an interesting blog, something that truly shares my sentiments :), In Tamil Nadu no one is forced to learn Tamil itself as an language, most schools (excluding state board until X) even offer French and German as an option unlike in Maharastra where everybody is subjected to learn Marathi as an language(excluding CBSE).. when Tamil itself is not forced upon us, why should Hindi be??

Spica said...

@lp: I know! :-)

TheMobilePhotog said...

Hindi is just as foreign to me as English is - LOL :) well said