Before I begin,
Happy birthday, Madras!
A long promised post. I must say that the repeated requests for it flattered me no end and I wanted to do justice to it! Hence I took a long time and decided to post it on August 22nd - for what better day??
I’m not gonna give you people a list of reasons we love this place. Enough blogs have them. Or open the supplements today. All of them will carry popular opinions which will, I’m sure include filter kaapi, podimas, beach road, mount road, ranganathan street, spencers(for Gawd knows what reason), Anna nagar tower, etc.. I, however, am gonna merely state and refute or reinstate popular opinions, giving credit where it is due.
So what is so great about this place, you ask? After all, it has been voted as being the hottest, most conservative, boring, and most under-developed among the metros! A desert - in short. Chennai autos are infamous throughout the country and the city is definitely not known for its night-life, hot chicks or guys! There are exactly two big malls and Chennai people do not know how to dress and those who do, find it too expensive to maintain it! The city dwellers refuse to learn hindi, thus making it difficult for the rest of the country to come down for a visit and what's there by way of sight-seeing anyway? The city has a rainy season of two-weeks and is eternally on the verge of a water-shortage. The politicians are again infamous throughout the country (who doesn't know Jayalalitha? - who studied in Church Park, btw..)and the people are uninteresting and stupid. Most importantly, according to my friend, "It didn't even have a McD till 3 months ago, and Madrasi food sucks!" and the beach is of course, as dirty as it gets!
Okay, now that I've written all the points which people keep throwing at me, let me start by refuting them one by one.
First of all, this place is
not a desert. As my sister put it 'The only thing you don't get in T.Nagar is an aeroplane'.
Yes it is hot, I'm sorry about that - but has anyone ever noticed that it is hot for precisely 3 months a year? The rest of the year, I am cursing the hostel administrators every morning for not having a geyser!
And yup, most people are conservative, but that is just about the way they live their lives and the way their children live theirs! They let everyone else be. Chennites are among those who do not pass judgement easily, believe it or not. We're more open minded than B'loreans or Delhites in the sense that, in either of those places, you need to be 'cool' and 'hep'. You can't be who you are the way you want to be. You need to fake it and pretend just to fit in - something neither I, nor anyone I know had to do in Chennai. It's a city of extremes and weirdly, the extremes get along very well. Here, it is common to find a pardha cladding muslim be best friends with one who sports the minis and halters.
The autos are irritating, but be a sport about it, won't you? Walk! Nothing feels as good as a long walk. Just trust me on this one. And if you hate your feet, take the public transport. Apparently, Chennai is one of the few cities which is very wll connected by public transport! (If anyone has a contention here, they can contact Mr. Ipe Job, who, by the way, spent his entire childhood elsewhere).
And as for the nightlife, we do have our fair share of clubs and discos and pubs. What we also have is more than our fair share of Sabhas and Concert halls and Theatre/Rock fests! *Allow me a huge grin here, will you?*
Two big malls and one McD – forgive me, but I’m kinda proud we haven’t yet succumbed to the US based MNCs who drive our men out of business!
The hindi bit, again something I’m proud of, but that has a whole post dedicated to it. Besides, did you know that you didn’t need to know Tamil at all to survive here? Ask my friend Anisha – she was born in Chennai, lived here all her life, her mother-tongue is tamil, she studied tamil in school till the 8th and she still can’t frame a proper sentence in it! Why? Because she doesn’t need to!
In fact, apart from her, I have exactly, *counts* 5 tamilian friends. No, 6, but the 6th is the same as Anisha - can’t speak tam for nuts! I’m talking about people born and brought up in Chennai, of course. It is expected I should know many more… but weirdly I don’t! *grins* Cosmopolitan, eh?
The city, though has always been on the verge of water-shortage, never actually was! 5 successive years of failed monsoon and I didn’t have to miss a single bath. Compare this with the west, where one failed monsoon and they’re already worried to death!
I dunno what they mean when they say ‘Madarasi food’, but I’ll say one thing – we make the best god dammed sandwiches EVER! (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please please go to Alsa mall the next time you’re free!
Oh, and one thing non-south Indians should know – idly doesn’t taste the least bit like how you get it in restaurants – I dunno why, but home idlys feel and taste very different!
Hot chicks, dreamy guys – well, you got me there. Er.. * scratches head*. All I can say is Madhavan, Siddharth, Shriya, anyone?? *sheepish grin*
Oh, the sight-seeing bit *chuckles* (bet no one else got the joke anyway!), well.. apart from the beaches (check ‘em all out!), I have on my platter Dakshin Chitra, 3 amusement parks, Mahabs, Crocodile bank (it’s really cool, trust you me!), Vandalur zoo (It’s almost as good as the Singapore one. Almost), etc.. (Remind me to put up a long list at some point of time in life.
As for the uninteresting and stupid people bit, well.. off the top of my head – Indira Nooyi, A.R Rahman, Kalam (well, he studied in MIT – that counts), C.V.Raman, Chandrashekar, Vishvanathan Anand, etc..
So yes, there I refute all the statements ever thrown. If you have anymore, bring ‘em on!
Oh, and also, let me mention that no one can stay in this city for more than 4 years without falling in love with it, apparently. Ask my MCC friends – Unni Nair, Sai Krishna, Satyaki Roy, Prashant Ipe Job, Shannon Peter to name a few..
They constantly surprise me with they proclaimations! Stuff even I wouldn’t dream of saying. Like Unni saying he’ll do anything to settle down in Chennai! Or Satyaki (this guy swore he would never return to Chennai once he was done with MCC) pinging me to let me know that he was returning to ‘his favourite city’ the next day. And Pipe (dude could never stop talking about UP when he landed here) having an argument with me – ME – about the afore mentioned transport thing. And Shannon (sigh, you gotta meet him – no word would do justice here) calling me up the night before an exam to argue about how Chennai is the safest city on the planet. Yes, I said argue. I didn’t agree with him of course!
Last year, same day, I sent a message to all my friends wishing them. I don't have a copy of the message, so I can't quote it verbatim, but here's what I remember of it: "I'm looking out of my window and all I can see is a vast expanse of green trees and shrubs against a light blue and pink and purple sky dotted with white clouds. A few coconut trees are popping out of the green mass and swaying to the wind. In a distance is a solitary building - the tidal park with it's lights coming on! And all this, bang in the centre of the city! Where else, but here?”
That message still holds.
We love you, Madras!!!! :-)
