So long, and thanks for all the fish!

Closure is a strong word, but I suspected that that's what I needed.. I had hoped that my convocation will give me that, and I guess in a way it did.

For many months now - since July, 2007, to be precise - I have been looking back on my life in MCC with a sigh. Nostalgically.. Wishing with all my heart that I was back there. Everytime, I go there, I'll make a note and start counting down to the day when I'll go there again. This time, though, I left not knowing when I'll go back again, and guess what? I'm perfectly fine with that thought.

I guess what it really required was wrapping up the personal ties - realising a few truths, restarting some old friendships, rekindling the ones which are dying out, and letting a few die for the sake of friendship itself. What it took was a look at what is popularly known as the "big picture" and realising that fights, elections, tears, love and friendship was all just a part of college life. A three year drama - a masala movie with every spice in it - equally proportioned.

With that para, my post stopped making sense, so let me recap for the sake of those who are still reading and more than that for my own sake.. As i said, i need to press "publish post" before it ends.

June 16th, 2004(I do have an uncany memory for dates), I step in to the portals of MCC big eyed and full of wonder. There are all those people on stage who we're told are "gen. sec." and "chairman" and "convenors". Little do I know how I'll come to lose all respect for those post. The post, mind you, not the people. I still remember the first three days - the first day was the campus walk (I still can't, for the life of me, remember where they took us that day!). College ended at 12. The second day was dept orientation - college ended at 10.30. The third day was class orientation, college ended at 9.30. "This is too much", I remember complaining to Soumya.

The rest of the semester is just a haze.. I remember Nirupa, the triangle, Nirupa leaving, Subhashini's birthday party(the day she told us she was leaving), my first crushes in college, and my very first deep-dark-carry-to-the-grave secret(s). Oh yes, and of course the Goa trip.. But that's a post of it's own..

The second semester was even hazier.. Let me see.. The hall days (for some reason, I remember those!), Amandeep's arrival and all the guys going nuts, the girl gang, Yi and the drama club - which never really started, but yet led to other things which will not be mentioned in this post except to state that that is all I remember of the third and fourth semesters.. Well, almost all..

Third semester was also when the "cafe gang" was closest. Something happened in the 3rd sem which caused it to start breaking up.. I never figured what. I remember my and Sai's suprise parties, the trip to coorg and french classes.

Fourth semester: More hall days (wait, I think I went for only one that year).. Oh, yes and the elections. That is something I'll never forget - the year I came face up with hardcore politics and realised that there are things in this world I will never understand. The semester I lost all respect for the politician in a (wo)man - cause that's the worst in a person coming out - it's all about the self. The semester, when, suprisingly, my respect for Naren tripled - no, quadrupled and my respect for every other person involved fell into an abyss. The deeds were mended and made up for in other ways,but the respect never returned and I don't think it ever will.

Fifth semester: I was in depression. End of story. Oh, yes, depressed Nanital trip. And of course, Woodstock comes into existance (ta-da!).

Sixth semester: I stop hanging out with my batchmates because I had something to tell them which i didn't want to tell them and they kinda guessed it and i knew they had guessed it, so basically, It Was A Mess. Sixth semester was also Deepwoods 2006 third day and the week that followed. Sixth semester was also the time when life in MCC got really good. Almost as good as my first month there. Note how I said, almost. Not quite, 'cause I had JAM hanging over my head, but otherwise.. I made the kinda friends I had given up all hope of finding in MCC - I found people who I was proud to say I knew. For once, I didn't care about what the world thought and I became really close with my classmates. That was when I started loving my train rides. That was when I, for the first time in my life, did exactly what I wanted to. And realised, that that's all it took to be happy. Not happy happy. Just happy.

Yup, apart from the first one month, the sixth semester was the best of them all. Which is why, I found it so damn hard to get over the place. Which is why I needed a closure. I called up a few friends and cleared things out. I came to terms with the fact that some people just will not change. I accepted that a few of them make new "aquaitances" and I realise why they need to - silly, though the reason be. They're still my friends inspite of their silliness and that's what matters.

But most important of all, on my convocation day, I tried to reconnect with the whole lot of them and I realised that, save a hand picked few (the ones I can see have - and will continue to - survive the test of time) I couldn't relate to anyone else.

I had moved on.

I now know what I really got out of my 3 years - courage, freedom, a sense of independance, open-mindedness (I'll put important marks here, only my keyboard doesn't support it) and about 10 friends.

I need no more.

And so, as the title says "Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish!" :-)